I spent years going to different meetup groups each week and we spoke a lot of different things. From dozens of conversations IRL and on forums, I was told by different women what they look for in a man, and here is the list I found that I’d compiled.
- Kind, warm, genuine, loyal, honest, funny, great fit in the bedroom, spontaneous, curious about life, passionate, emotionally available, emotionally healthy, and sane
For me it’s just a guy who knows himself and knows what he wants.IRL Quotes
- A competent adult, pays his bills, does his laundry, keeps his place tidy, knows how to cook, and can fix things. Respectful.
- Good sense of humor. Intelligent, well-read.
- A graduate degree would be nice, but you can be smart without a diploma, it just indicates that you can finish a long-term project.
- Bonus points for being passionate about something – dogs, music, chess, whatever. I like dudes that get so into a particular subject that they will research everything about it and become an expert. Even if it’s something I have zero interest in.
- When women say having a passion for something is attractive, what we mean is passionate about something we find attractive. Passionate about writing music: attractive.
- Different women find different pursuits attractive, though it should be obvious which ones many women like and don’t.
A few more
- A guy is a catch when he has his life together – which means having a stable job that he enjoys somewhat (doesn’t have to love it, but isn’t always complaining either), either owns his own home or is actively saving for one, or rents a nice house/apartment, is comfortable financially, knows how to take care of himself but wouldn’t mind letting me into his life and sharing the duties.
- A similar sense of humor to my own.
- Doesn’t need to be mommed. I mean very few or no reminders to do regular adult things: chores, pay bills, appointments, etc.
When they know what they want out of life and go for it.IRL Quotes
- Someone who lives by his principles and puts thought into both who he is in the world and the vastness of the world outside his daily life.
- A big one is that he likes and gets along with my family. One of the reasons I broke up with my ex was his attitude toward my family, he was never anything but friendly to them, but to me, he hemmed and hawed about spending time with them, as if he always had something more important to do.
My husband makes me laugh, almost every single day. And even though he knows how to piss me off quicker than anyone else, I also know he makes me happy very regularly. I can’t really ask for more than that. The other stuff, works itself out.IRL Quotes
Not every woman is going to be perfect for you, and you do not want to be perfect for them either, nor to be the best man ever, you only need to be the best match for the things you and your partner both like.