For all us Covid Couples, here are some easy ideas to keep the happiness between you both, making the best of the couple time and dating at home (because love quotes just don’t give enough usable info).
- Have lunch together in the backyard or park.
- Do chores together (dishwashing bubble fights).
- Do the gardening together because it’s a good feeling when it’s finished.
- Sing (badly) to songs on the radio.
- Dress up in your old clothes (while sorting them out before you discard them).
- We play mini-golf in the lounge room and football (soccer) in the hallway.
- Read books together on the sofa.
- Have a walk at the park or around the block together. This is a great time for chatting as it comes naturally, and even comfortable silence is good.
- Listen. Without offering how to fix things.
One of the fundamental differences between men and women is that women like to think things through out loud and share their emotional experience of life. When a woman is talking about things that are important to her she is not only testing her own beliefs on the matter, she is also seeking validation about who she is. It is a sharing experience that is important to her sense of self and her investment in the relationship.
Men: whatever you do, do not offer an opinion.IRL Things
Don’t take the bait. This is a danger-zone.
It is important to understand that when she is talking through things, she may not yet be convinced of the truth of the matter or there may be several truths that she is seeking to balance. Any judgment and opinion at this point is a huge danger zone.
You can give so much more assistance simply by paying full attention; keep quiet but make sure you indicate now and again that you are listening or asking open questions when appropriate, like “how did that make you feel?”
Instead of relating to what she is saying on your own terms (in your own experience), try to experience it completely from her point of view.IRL Things
It’s a big mistake to assume that when someone is sharing something personal, that they are seeking an opinion when most often they don’t want to know what you think at all. Even when they ask for it.
It’s often (not always) better to ask another question when they ask you what you think because they really don’t want to know what you think they want to know what they think.
As the complex creatures women are, they are capable of contradictory and changing views and opinions and often need to solve the problem of ‘what is most true’. This can be best done with a trusted confidant, which is your role as the best friend and lover. It’s one of the hardest skills to learn – to listen without stepping in and offering suggestions, expressing our own views, or trying to fix a situation.
- Watch the sunset from the street.
- A candlelit BBQ dinner at home.
- Play board games or electronic games like
- Portal 2
- Lovers in a Dangerous Spacetime
- Stardew Valley
- Octodad: Dadliest Catch
- For the King
- Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes
- The Cave
- Ibb and Obb
- Degrees of Separation
- Cat Quest 2
- Let the kids know that we need time alone together. Tell them they can knock on your closed bedroom door only if there is blood.
- Look at the stars at night, and hold hands.
- Wash her hair: run your fingertips through her hair and massage her scalp because it gives amazing feelings.
Don’t forget there are certain days she just wants to cuddle and prefer non-sexual intimacy, you can read this here: The way her body makes her feel.