Question: So you want to help a woman feel special?
Answer: It depends on what she has to think about.
Reason: If you do not take care of your responsibilities, they start to get onto a mental list of things to be done. Since you are not doing them and they need to be done soon, she will ask you to do them. To men, this is known as nagging but to women, this is known as helping to get things done.
Men think they are being smart because if they avoid domestic duties,IRL Quotes
then the woman will do them.
However, it’s not that smart
If you want to be intimate together, don’t leave all the finance and housework to her or you’re wasting your relationship. One of the woman’s biggest complaints is that men never grow up, and women don’t want to feel like their mother.
Believe it or not, most women do not want to control you, and men often take things for granted. How often do you clean the shower? So the woman thinks ‘I’ll just clean it and not mention it’… but this doesn’t stop.
How do I make my wife feel special?
There’s a few things going on here
A woman finds it hard to be turned on by a man when they behave like boys (thus forcing the woman into the role of mother, sister or nagger instead of lover).
And it’s not just ‘not doing things’ that keeps them in the ‘boy’ category…it’s boasting about doing things. A more attractive man is one who just gets in and does things and moves on. A boy spends more time talking than doing. How can a woman feel attraction for you if she feels she has taken over from your mother?
Not only that, but a woman may also feel resentful towards you if you are causing her work and/or putting her into the position of picking up after you and reminding you of things that you should be taking care of. Resentment does not make for good love-making; how is a woman supposed to flick that switch in the brain to be her naturally intimate self, if there’s so much on her to-do list?
How she can feel special
Here are key things that women want
- They want to feel cherished and special, and that you love having her in your life. Don’t assume that she feels your love and admiration, let her know what you love about her and let her know the gratitude you feel about having her in your life.
- A woman wants you to bring out the best in one another. That means sharing your lives as individuals and not becoming completely co-dependent. You do not have to control one another’s choices.
- She wants to spend quality time with you. Set some time aside just for you both and set some time up for yourself. Do not try to combine your us time by sitting with her while you catch up on your sport on your phone.
- She wants to be ravished and wants the flirtation and the passion directed for her as much as for you.
How to communicate with your wife
- Share your thoughts on things. She knows you have thoughts because they result in your actions. To her, sometimes it would be great to have you share your troubles with her instead of keeping them inside and acting them out.
- Mix it up. Anything can become a habit. Change your lives if they are routine, but her an experience she has always wanted to do, it can be a course in something or a place to take her.
- Take care of yourself. Once again, she is not your mother, so take yourself to the dentist, the doctor, the podiatrist, whatever…do not make her tell you. The message is to respect your own self-respect, to have a respectful relationship.
- A man wants a woman to be intimate (amongst other things), but she cannot always stay intimate if she has to do all the mundane stuff. So fix it, and improve it, take care of your share.
- Slow down and smell the roses. Yes, women like a successful man, but they also like a man that can turn off work and turn on life as soon as they walk through that door.
- Each of you needs your own time to do your own things, and then come together to share them and create an awesome new feeling between you; this gives both of you things to talk about.
Want scientific proof?
There’s a part of the brain (the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex: it’s at the top front and controls/suppresses your actions) which keeps all your issues alive: a hard day at work, responsibilities, worries, self-confidence issues, things that need to be done, and performance anxiety. This keeps you from calming down enough to feel more intimate.
- When you touch yourself, your thoughts are focused on the feeling, on the imagery, on the sensations and another part of your brain (the orbito-frontal-cortex: it’s at the bottom front) is activated when you’re aroused. When doing it yourself, the top front part of the brain is easier to turn off which lets the bottom front part take over.
- When someone else is doing it for you, there is no focal point and the top front isn’t turned off as much, the mind wanders into self-consciousness or what happened today, or what needs to be done at home.
What you need to do
A man has to help around the house which helps his partner to turn off the top front part of the brain, allowing the bottom front part to take over and she will be able to focus more on what’s important at that moment.
Then, all the pleasurable feelings will be felt much easier, and to her that feels special.
The key takeaway is, when you want to help your wife feel intimate, you need to start two weeks before and continue to do it. We have other ideas in Easy, Happy and Sweet things to do for your Wife.